just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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