Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
