I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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