Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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