I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize