I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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