my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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