I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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