just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
