i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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