we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
