I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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