I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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