Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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