Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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