Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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