it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize