i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
