I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
