mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
