i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
