I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
