Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Randomize
