i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
