Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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