absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
