Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
