Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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