The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize