i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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