Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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