You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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