Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
