doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
