If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
