Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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