There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
