i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
