his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the day after is always just damage control
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
