You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
