I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
