I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
