Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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