the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
