I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
