We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
