Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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