I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
