i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
