During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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