If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
