Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
