Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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