So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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