just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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