Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
