Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there was a trapeze. enough said
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
