I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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