You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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