i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
