This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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