Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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